The Honest To God Truth



I wish TF i would explain myself to you and u not paying not 1 of my damn bill!
I wish Tf i would chase a man that clearly doesn’t want me!
I wish TF i would love you more than i love MYSELF HA! IMPOSSIBLE!

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I couldn’t agree more i am so sick of people getting mad at me because i chose to say the hell with joining your pity party. To hell with telling you your not dumb for getting back with him. You are stupid and the more you allow him to play you the dumber you get. People only do to you what you allow.   The more i enable your stupidity the longer you remain stupid . Duh! Smh, common sense truly isn’t common.

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As real as it gets

My writing is the voice the falls on deaf ears.
So many things have happened in these past few months and I have failed to do the one thing I know helps me sort all of this mess out. I haven’t written a thing.
Some might call it

writer’s block

but I consider it me not knowing what the he’ll to even say, or even how to think myself out of this mess.
Our financial situation has been one huge seriously unfunny reality television show.
Personally I have not been a person That has a hard time finding a job. Me no not me. But somehow I too have been caught up in this crazy nonsense the world is calling a recession.
For me it’s the end of the world. First I was like ok, as long as one of us has a job we will make it. We will get through it as long as we keep our faith strong in God.
But see the thing with faith is that, we’ll when your married it takes 2 to make everything work. Which means
I can have all the faith in the world, I can pray until my face turns purple, but if my husband is not on the same page with me.
He loved God
He kinda trust God?
Basically his spiritual level and mine are in two different places right now. Don’t get me wrong my baby loves the Lord.
However things in his life have been tragic to say the least. I also have go admit that sometimes the way things happen it almost seems like someone is playing a huge joke on us. Like not a funny joke but a cruel, insanely insensitive joke.
Me, being the Superwoman lol
Thinks that I can go to God for the both of us. Like I can pray to God for my husband and I.  I have recently learned  This couldn’t be farthest from the truth.

After I started getting a few job offers and I started to plan out what we were going know to save and how we were going to dig ourselves out of debt guess what happens?
My husband gets fired because he got hurt on the job.
Now how do I go to God about this. At this point my faith is still strong But I’m starting to panic. How are we going to eat. What are we going to do about our bills. Where do we go I felt like We were cursed. But it made me think.back to what everyone kept telling me.  Once your married you don’t stop praying, you have to pray a little harder. While I can’t go to God for my husband we can still go to him together and pray for a stronger faith. I feel like God is stripping us down and making us brand new. At this moment while I’m writing this I even feel kind of lucky. I know people that would completely crumble in situations like this. They wouldn’t know what to do. But by going through these trials I know we can make it through anything. I know that with God and our ability to work with each other in peace we can get through anything.  It does make me kind of nervous to say things like this because trust me I don’t want to go through anymore or anything worse but I’m just grateful for the testimony. 
We are not in the best place in our lives right now. We are actually at a pretty low point. I don’t know what will happen next or if the storm is over just yet Lol. But I do know that we have yet to go hungry. I also know that all of our bills are paid so far.  I know that we have a roof over our heads, and even some new clothes on our backs that we didn’t purchase. We have each other and we our growing in God together as a unit. I pray for my husband daily. I pray that his and my faith continues to grow. I pray that the Lord bless us with all our hearts desire. But most of all I am eternally grateful that God gave me such a remarkable man to go through all of this with. Consider me blessed Through all out mess! !! Good day.  Be Blessed!



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Your not stupid and I’m not gonna help you pretend to be!


So…. lately I have had a lot of my” associates” talk to me about their relationships. The things that they go.through, the disrespect they endure and still stay (UGH). I mean don’t get me wrong I have done some really dumb things for love but seriously to play dumb with a person just so they give you some type of attention Or buy you some new leash (gift) around your neck. If it really worth the pain you WILL face, unless you open your eyes and pay attention to what this person Is clearly showing and telling you.


1 associate told me that when she started to become serious with her guy she asked him
“What number am I in your life as far as your women?”
He said”  Your number 2 but if you act right you might have a chance to be #1!”

(1st Why the hell would you feel the need to ask someone that question. I mean you knew he had other femaleSSSSSS BUT you still calling him YOUR MAN ????)

Now my girl was excited about this. I mean she was blushing and giggling like a child with her first crush. I was completely dumbfound. Me being me I asked
“What do you think of that?”
She told me that she didn’t really care how many women He has, as long as he is” giving up the d#@% I don’t care what he do or who he do it with. I just wanted to know If he would tell me the truth.”

I couldn’t speak. The first Thing that went through my brain however was how many women and/or men is he sleeping with? Does he do to them the things you say he has done to you?  The way my mind works is, he is sleeping with u and 1 other person this we know for sure. So who Is that person sleeping with? And that person he is sleeping with,  who is she sleeping with.

But of course my girl don’t make him use condoms. “He says they break him out.” 

Now you have laid down with all of these people,  non of you know what the other has. Also since my girl free to sex other men on the regular your passing whatever you MIGHT be getting from this clown to those people too and God only knows who they are sleeping with.  Its a never ending chain of stupidity and your doing all this to be noticed by a guy that couldn’t give 2 shits about you.

So why not care who you spread your legs to and give all of your love to? Why not ask for a test or recent test results? Why not demand the respect that you deserve. If someone is not willing to commit to you and only you and give you your total and complete respect IN RETURN FOR THE SAME OF COURSE then screw them. Your choices are not limited,  your mindset, selfrespect, And self worth has all been so torn down and stepped on that u limit yourself to these life sucking idiots YOU are choosing. 

So I told my girl the truth.  She got mad at me and refuses to talk to me until I apologize.  I refuse. I guess that’s 1 less friend. Lol. I don’t owe you an apology for telling you the truth.

I’m not gonna help you pretend to be stupid!!!

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Marriage Vs. Independence

How do I put down my guard and allow my husband to be the man?

Marriage life has been really awesome to me. Not only have we come into this new journey in life together but I have completely been swept off my feet by the love and affection I get from this man. He is my best friend. Without a doubt I know that he has my back and won’t let anyone run over me. He’s my rock. He listens to my rants and doesn’t judge me but he does let me know when I’m wrong for something I may have said or done. He is everything I prayed for(I mean literally I was reading through an old journal and he is exactly what I prayed for) my soul mate. 

But….. I have always been this

“power woman”  I have always made my own money and played by my own rules. I have NEVER depended on anyone But myself. Truth be told I’m just learning to have faith in God Just truly learned what faith is.. I’m not ashamed to say that, I may not be exactly where I’m supposed to be but I’m far from where I once was.

So only a few short months after we got married and I had just settle into being happy and stable I Got laid off. Great! Right? 

Phill (my husband)  assured me we would be fine. He keeps trying to comfort me into believing that all will be ok. ” I will take care of us”  he says.

This is where I have a problem. I will never say that my honey buns is irresponsible HOWEVER he is a man. And my husband is not a cheap date lol (insider he gets it from his mama)  he has expensive taste and if he sees something and I’m not with him bye bye money’s.  So you see I do have something to worry about,plus he tells me about what he spent but he doesn’t tell me unless his conscience gets the best of him and he feels compelled Or I find out by my questions and answers series lol. ( ask a question remember the answer ask the same question again few weeks later to see of you get the same answer) yes I do.  Then we go through the whole dog house thing and,  let’s just say I NEVER stay mad long.

ANYWAY.. so how does someone (me)  who has always paid her own bills and taken care of herself let go and let this man take care of me?

I have been off work for about 1 month and I am losing my mind. I find myself baking???? Baking? I never had time for it So it’s foreign to me. I sit and blog and write and cook and think wayyyyyyyy too much. He tells me I can stay off work as long as I need to. But I don’t think my body can handle that. I would worry myself to death. I don’t owe a soul but I’m always thinking a bill collector will walk up to the door and no matter how much I try to hide they will go through every including taking the door off the hinges to collect! !!!!! (I told u I think too much.) 

Im just saying it’s hard to trust your lively hood in the hands of another. Even if he is your soulmate.  I guess for now until one of these secret job applications I have been filling out comes through I will be finding out.

I mean we only have the rest of our lives to get it right.

Be Blessed..


MY Opinion ! But I think every adult in this video should be arrested for child pornography.

Here we have the true definition of trash . So you make this beat then put words to this beat , and then you sit and think “AH I’m going to get my 10 year old , hire some strippers to shake their grown asses in his face and even though he can barely annunciate lets make him the star?????” What parent thought this was a good idea. What happened to common sense????

Whats WRong WIt YOU!!!!

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