The Honest To God Truth

Marriage Vs. Independence

on January 9, 2014

How do I put down my guard and allow my husband to be the man?

Marriage life has been really awesome to me. Not only have we come into this new journey in life together but I have completely been swept off my feet by the love and affection I get from this man. He is my best friend. Without a doubt I know that he has my back and won’t let anyone run over me. He’s my rock. He listens to my rants and doesn’t judge me but he does let me know when I’m wrong for something I may have said or done. He is everything I prayed for(I mean literally I was reading through an old journal and he is exactly what I prayed for) my soul mate. 

But….. I have always been this

“power woman”  I have always made my own money and played by my own rules. I have NEVER depended on anyone But myself. Truth be told I’m just learning to have faith in God Just truly learned what faith is.. I’m not ashamed to say that, I may not be exactly where I’m supposed to be but I’m far from where I once was.

So only a few short months after we got married and I had just settle into being happy and stable I Got laid off. Great! Right? 

Phill (my husband)  assured me we would be fine. He keeps trying to comfort me into believing that all will be ok. ” I will take care of us”  he says.

This is where I have a problem. I will never say that my honey buns is irresponsible HOWEVER he is a man. And my husband is not a cheap date lol (insider he gets it from his mama)  he has expensive taste and if he sees something and I’m not with him bye bye money’s.  So you see I do have something to worry about,plus he tells me about what he spent but he doesn’t tell me unless his conscience gets the best of him and he feels compelled Or I find out by my questions and answers series lol. ( ask a question remember the answer ask the same question again few weeks later to see of you get the same answer) yes I do.  Then we go through the whole dog house thing and,  let’s just say I NEVER stay mad long.

ANYWAY.. so how does someone (me)  who has always paid her own bills and taken care of herself let go and let this man take care of me?

I have been off work for about 1 month and I am losing my mind. I find myself baking???? Baking? I never had time for it So it’s foreign to me. I sit and blog and write and cook and think wayyyyyyyy too much. He tells me I can stay off work as long as I need to. But I don’t think my body can handle that. I would worry myself to death. I don’t owe a soul but I’m always thinking a bill collector will walk up to the door and no matter how much I try to hide they will go through every including taking the door off the hinges to collect! !!!!! (I told u I think too much.) 

Im just saying it’s hard to trust your lively hood in the hands of another. Even if he is your soulmate.  I guess for now until one of these secret job applications I have been filling out comes through I will be finding out.

I mean we only have the rest of our lives to get it right.

Be Blessed..


2 responses to “Marriage Vs. Independence

  1. pipmarks says:

    I love the woman cave sign! Good luck job hunting. Even if it’s hard for an independent person – at least you have a financial and emotional safety net in the meantime. Cheers

    • Thank you very much, I love the sign too and i had to have it. Yes I have alot of support we talked about it today and he just wanted me to understand that ” There is now someone else that has both of our best interest at heart.” I have got a thick skull but Im working on it . Thx for the best wishes on a job, I know that the job I’m meant to have will come along shortly . Be Blessed .

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